Life is full of choices, some are good some are bad, but each choice has a knock on effect. Susan and I agreed in 2015 that we would amalgamate our houses and she would move in with me. In doing so Susan gave up her home not just her house and a her lovely front garden. My house had a small garden which was once the pride of my late father. However on his death my mum was advised that her pelvis was wearing away and that she would need walking aids and eventually the use of a wheelchair. This meant that the garden had to be slabbed over to allow a larger ramp that could take a mobility scooter be fitted and the back gate redesigned to allow said scooter to exit. It had to be the doors from the living-room in order to allow a larger platform that the sidewalk could take.
After my mum passed away in 2010 the ramp was removed and the garden remained slabbed, it was easy to keep clean just a power wash every two months. Potted plants appeared. and a potted garden was established. When Suan moved in the central slabs were removed opening up a small area for plants and the garden became Susan’s domain. 3 times a year it would get the slabs washed and tidied up, Susan looked after her plants with tender loving yet ruthless care. This care came to an end in the latter half of 2017 as her cancer became more aggressive.
The choice made to provide Susan with the care and attention meant that the garden would be left to survive whilst we attempted to give Susan not just extend life but one that had quality so gallevants became more important right up to the week before she passed away. Our last trip out was an Intrepids’ Trip to Rest and Be Thankful then onto Butter Bridge in Argyle:
The last choice was not mine to make it was life’s – how to deal with the intense grief I felt with the loss of my wife of 6 weeks and 2 days! We had been partners ,longer that Husband and wife, 10 years and friends for 12. All I can say is I bumbled my way through the fog, lackluster will from then until two weeks ago. Whilst the country and most of the world was in lockdown I had no need to think, to go out etc. It is not trite but true that you will come to terms with such a loss, you will never forget but you will carry on with your life that is the choice you make. Having unconsciously made that choice I realised I had a lot to do on the domestic side and did so. House cleaned inside my attention turned to the garden. My heart sank at the overgrown state as the once tamed garden had gone to the wild. Susan and I had discussed a way forward for the garden and it was time time implement some of that Discussion – Cue in Garden’ ‘R Us